My Path to A Course in Miracles

Let's begin our journey together with a little background on your guide. Like many people, I followed a long and winding path to A Course in Miracles, which I began in earnest in March or April of 1997. Along the way, the Holy Spirit helped me remove several "obstacles" that stood between me and what turned out to be my True Path.

I began this life as a Catholic, but only attended weekly Mass and Catechism until age eleven -- the year before I would have received the Holy Sacrament of Confirmation. In high school, I became what was then called a "Jesus Freak," but gave up my Christian clique when they forbade me to hang out with my "worldly" friends. Thereafter, I explored many alternate paths before eventually returning to Catholicism in my mid-twenties. At that point, I actually learned the theology on which the religion is founded. Unable to accept some of these beliefs, I walked away from the Church of my upbringing (and many past lives)

For the next several years, I had no spiritual foundation. Consequently, I grew increasingly depressed and began contemplating suicide. Rather than act on this impulse, I called a psychologist, who saw me immediately. At our first session, he asked if I had a philosophy of life.

“Not really,” I answered. “As far as I can tell, life is meaningless and random.” I proceeded to share my cynical theory that human beings were the accidental offspring of horny aliens and apes. While I didn’t really believe this, I had no better explanation to offer.

He listened patiently before asking with a concerned smile, “Do you find that philosophy useful?”

When I answered that I didn’t, he advised me to work on developing a more heartening spiritual belief system.    

Thereafter, I explored several paths, none of which felt right. Fast forward to my mid-thirties. While taking an astrology class at a New Age bookstore in Pasadena, Calif., I noticed—and was drawn to—A Course in Miracles. Thumbing through its pages, I saw the Christian language within and, turned off by it, put the book back on the shelf.

A few months later, I was awakened one Sunday by a powerful inner prompt directing me to get out of bed and go to Mass at the local Catholic Church. I did as instructed and strongly felt the Holy Spirit’s presence at the service. I continued going to weekly Mass and, a few months later, I signed up for an adult confirmation class. At the start of the first session, the facilitator led the class through a guided meditation.

“Imagine yourself walking on a beach,” she began. “Now imagine that Jesus appears and walks with you. What do you say to him? What does he say to you?”

Normally, I don’t have much luck with visual meditations. But this time, I DID see Jesus walking with me on the beach. I spoke to him from my heart about my doubts. In response, he explained that faith was a choice. Then, he asked, “What do you gain by NOT believing in me?”

The next moment, I saw myself at a crossroads. The road to the left was a continuation of the one I’d been on, which had only made me increasingly unhappy. The road to the right disappeared over the distant horizon. I couldn’t see where it went, but I KNEW it would take me to a better place. As I chose the RIGHT road, I also chose to believe in Jesus.

Having removed this obstacle from my mind, the Holy Spirit used my then-boss to steer me toward A Course in Miracles a few days later. At the time, I had a stressful job in the public affairs office of an elite private college. I was divorced, unhappy, and Ego-bound. One day, my supervisor, who was not to my knowledge a “spiritual” person, came into my office and set a book on my desk.

“I was in a bookstore last night,” he said, “and got the strangest feeling I needed to buy this for you.” The book was Deepak Chopra’s The Path to Love. That night, I read the whole book, which resonated with me deeply.

The next day, my boss came into my office again. This time, he handed me a copy of a transcript from an NPR interview with Marianne Williamson, who, as it happened, was an alumna of the college I worked for. In the interview, not surprisingly, she talked about A Course in Miracles. Her descriptions spoke to me, so at lunch, I went out and bought the book. That night, as I read the Text and started the Workbook, I knew I’d found my True Path.

This happened in April 1997. I know because, for some reason, I dated some of the Workbook Lessons. On the evening of April 17, an inner-voice I knew to be the Holy Spirit’s spoke to me. A month or so before, I’d started an intense relationship with someone with severe emotional problems. When he ended the relationship as abruptly as he’d initiated it, I was heartbroken. While lying in bed agonizing over what to do, the Holy Spirit’s still, small voice said (inside my mind), “You’re asking the wrong questions. The right question is: What have I lost if I choose love?”

The question sparked an epiphany. In that moment, I understood, for the first time in my life, that we experience love not by GETTING it from someone else, but by GIVING it without reservation. If I continued to love this man, whatever form the relationship might take, I had lost ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

When I look back on these experiences, I can see (and hope you will too) how carefully and actively the Holy Spirit guided me to the Course. I also recognize how He helped me surmount two major obstacles to “choosing right.” Not my horny alien theory, but my rejection of organized Christianity and, with it, Jesus as my “savior.” Like many “recovering” Catholics, I had thrown out the baby with the bathwater. To reclaim the baby (Jesus), I also had to forgive the bathwater (Catholicism) for being contaminated by wrong-minded thinking.

All right, so ... that's my story -- or at least some of it. I'll share more of my spiritual history and experiences as we move forward. In the meantime, why don't you tell me a little about yourself in the comments. Are you doing the Course? If so, how long have you been at it? If not, what path are you following and why?